I was vacationing in scenic Rhinebeck, New York last week, and could see why Bill and Hillary Clinton would choose it as a venue for their daughter’s wedding. It was as picturesque as gentrified small towns get, sort of a less artistic Stockbridge, Massachusetts, with a warm light shining on the humble stores on either side of Route 9. But the Clintons are spending precious little of their speculated $2 million-$5 million wedding budget in the town; local merchants are going begging. The town would appear to be just a stage set.

There is a good reason for the Clintons’ seeming neglect of this tiny town. Rhinebeck is a mere decoy, the silence of its residents based in genuine ignorance of the facts. The Clintons have other priorities, and it is a mark of the strength of their convictions that they will be expressing them through the wedding of their only daughter. The preparations for this event have been secret for a reason: Chelsea’s wedding will be held in Haiti.

This should not come as a surprise. President Clinton is the Special Envoy to Haiti, and the chairman of the international fund to rebuild that beleaguered yet proud nation in the wake of this year’s earthquake. He knows that, as lovely as Rhinebeck is, Haiti needs the money more. He and Hillary are determined to give Chelsea the most beautiful moment of her life while giving Haiti what it is due.

Guests arriving at Rhinebeck will be whisked away to Kennedy Airport by a flotilla of limousines, where they and their bodyguards will board three chartered 737s bound for Port-au-Prince. And what awaits them there! All has been made ready. The Clintons have rented a fleet of tap-taps, which will convey guests to their lodgings, some of the finest three-star hotels still left intact. The ceremony will be conducted by Fr. J.-B. Aristide, who still owes Bill a favor, in the ruins of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Assumption. A horde of chickens and goats will be corralled for the wedding feast. Rah-rahs will provide the music for the reception, converging in uncoordinated groups. And zombi repellent, in the form of individual salt packets, will be provided to each and every guest.

The honeymoon will take place in the verdant Artibonite Valley, where a special palm frond hut, complete with concrete latrine, has been erected for the happy couple.

Secret estimates of Chelsea’s Haitian wedding budget converge on a figure of around $1 million. The Clintons will be donating the remainder of the $2-$5 million, which, for Chelsea’s sake, they have been scrimping and saving to amass all these years, forgoing many necessities of life, to Partners In Health, which will be providing tropical medicine services to the guests through its Haitian sister organization, Zanmi Lasante.

The Clintons are determined that the wedding will show both their love for their daughter and their solidarity with a country which has suffered much. They could have put on an empty spectacle in Rhinebeck, the ultimate display of privilege and ostentation. Instead, they are crafting an experience which Chelsea will remember for the rest of her life, and which the world will not soon forget.