One thing I never understood about so-called vengeance in divorce. If your partner has decided to leave, the game's over. Too bad, but it happens. Efforts to inflict pain and damage on your soon-to-be-ex (through alienation of children, expensive and needless judicial action, character assassination, anonymous letters, and so forth) will only demonstrate how high a price the other person was willing to pay in order to be rid of you; in other words, you only enhance your public humiliation. And should it be the case that your spouse left you for another man or woman, the total price of the transaction indicates, at a minimum, how much more valuable the new person is than yourself. Wouldn't a rational person want to keep that figure low?
that's pretty well said, having been through a somehwat acrmonious divorce myself.
The divorce process is also the last chance to be vindicative and to play the power-game of control. Some people just cannot let that pass without another crack at it.
I became appreciative of the courts/law, whichin the end in their own sweet time forced the matter to be resolved.